By David M. White - Men's mental health and healthy relationships

TermsofEngagement

Know the rules before you play the game

For twenty-five years, David M. White watched, recorded and questioned the patterns that trap men in painful outcomes with women. This book is what he found. It is written for men who rarely read, and for any woman curious enough to hear what is being said to them.

Order your copy Why men and women read it

Ebook
Available on Amazon
Large, easy-to-read text
Reflection pages after every chapter

Two readers. One conversation.

This is one man's account of what he saw, and he expects it to start arguments. Read it to recognize your own life, or read it to learn exactly what he is telling other men.

If you are a man

You have lived some of this. You may not have had the words.

Each chapter explains a different behavioral pattern that traps men in a bad outcome.
Plain, large text and short sections, made for men who do not read often.
Space after every chapter to write down your own experience and decide what to do differently next time.
A book to pass to a friend, because the author says the answer starts when men talk to each other.

If you are a woman

Hear the argument in his words, then decide for yourself.

See what one man concluded after a quarter century of watching, and what he tells men about women.
Understand the conversations men may be having when you are not in the room.
Agree, push back or put it down angry. The author expects strong reactions and wrote it anyway.
Read the same book as the man in your life and talk about where it is right and where it is not.

Inside the book

Part case study, part field guide, part workbook. It is built to be read, written in and talked about.

One pattern per chapter

Each chapter takes a single behavioral pattern that catches men, and the author gives that pattern a name: Lilith.

Your turn after each one

A section at the end of every chapter to record your experience, examine it and plan how to avoid it or walk away.

Made for men who skip books

Large text and added reflection pages keep it easy to pick up and hard to forget.

A notes page at the back

A last page for the thoughts and conversations the book starts, so you never have to hunt for them.

Peace, compassion, honor

The author's answer to the pattern: the qualities he calls a God-given gift to men, and how to build them.

Why do good men keep landing in the same painful place?
What did no one explain about the people closest to us?
Who can you talk to about it, and what would you say?

"My life's goal is to share enlightenment to the lost souls of men to begin the process of self-healing." David M. White

About the author

David M. White is a husband, a stepfather to four girls and the caretaker of his mother. He calls himself a perpetual learner of what makes a relationship succeed, and he writes from a man's point of view.

He has learned from women at many stages of life, and he says that journey showed him both extraordinary women and monsters of hate. He looks at relationships with hope and reverence, and he admits he does not know as much as he should. He keeps learning anyway.

The book he was told to burn

More than thirty years ago, David wrote the first three chapters in the late hours of a troubled time in his life. He asked an experienced female colleague to read them. She called him the next day and told him, "David, you cannot write this book."

She told him to take the pages outside and burn them. He put them in the back of a dresser instead. For the next 25 years he kept recording observations, scholarly studies and his own experiences, until the book was finished.

Terms of Engagement is a gathering of that work for the men who have lived through it. It is meant to be read, written in and talked about with other men.

Learn the terms before you sit down at the table

Available in ebook on Amazon. Pick up a copy for yourself, for a friend, or for the man who needs to hear it. Women who want to know what is being said are welcome at the table too.

Order on Amazon

Title: Terms of Engagement
Subtitle: Know the Rules Before You Play the Game
Author: David M. White
Genre: Men's mental health and healthy relationships
Format: Ebook

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